251+ Mustache Jokes That Will Crack You Up

Mustache Jokes That Will Crack You Up

Ready for some hilarious mustache humor? You’ve found the perfect spot!

I’ve gathered over 251+ mustache jokes that’ll have you laughing in no time. From clever wordplay to silly puns, this collection has it all. Whether you’re a facial hair aficionado or just looking for a good chuckle, these jokes will tickle your funny bone.

Imagine impressing your friends with a fresh batch of mustache-themed quips or lightening the mood at your next gathering.

Don’t let this chance for laughter slip through your fingers! Dive into this amazing collection of mustache joy and discover your new favorite jokes.

Get ready to giggle and maybe even grow your ‘stache inspired by these witty one-liners!

List of Some Amazing Mustache Jokes to Laugh Out Loud

Short Mustache Jokes

Short Mustache Jokes

1. Why don’t mustaches ever go to high school? They’re already well-groomed!

2. What’s a mustache’s favorite dessert? Hair-istotle pie!

3. How does a mustache get around town? It takes the handle-bars!

4. Why was the mustache sad? It felt bristle-d aside.

5. What’s a mustache’s favorite music? Hair metal!

6. How do mustaches stay warm in winter? They wear lip balaclavas!

7. Why did the mustache cross the road? To get to the other lip!

8. What’s a mustache’s favorite drink? Whisk-ers!

9. How do mustaches communicate? Through morse stubble!

10. Why don’t mustaches ever get lost? They always know hair they are!

11. What’s a mustache’s favorite sport? Curl-ing!

12. How do mustaches celebrate birthdays? With a shave-ing cream cake!

13. Why are mustaches great at math? They’re good with handle-ing figures!

14. What’s a mustache’s favorite movie genre? Hair-or films!

15. How do mustaches keep fit? With daily bristle-cises!

16. Why don’t mustaches need alarm clocks? They’re always on the upper lip!

17. What’s a mustache’s favorite food? Lip-smacking good barbecue!

18. How do mustaches travel? By hair-plane!

19. Why are mustaches never lonely? They always have each other’s back… of the lip!

20. What’s a mustache’s favorite dance? The bristle!

21. How do mustaches stay cool in summer? With lip-stache fans!

22. Why don’t mustaches ever get stressed? They know how to handle-bar pressure!

23. What’s a mustache’s favorite TV show? Lip Sync Battle!

24. How do mustaches make friends? They introduce themselves as “hair apparent”!

25. Why are mustaches great at keeping secrets? They’re always under wraps!

26. What’s a mustache’s favorite game? Twirl-io Kart!

27. How do mustaches greet each other? With a hair-ty hello!

28. Why don’t mustaches ever get hungry? They’re always above the mouth!

29. What’s a mustache’s favorite season? Fall, because it’s whisker-isp!

30. How do mustaches stay motivated? They keep a stiff upper lip!

31. Why are mustaches great at debates? They always have a point to raise!

32. What’s a mustache’s favorite palindrome? “A man, a plan, a canal: Pomade!”

Mustache Puns

Mustache Puns

33. I tried to grow a mustache, but it was a hair-raising experience.

34. My mustache is quite the social butterfly – it’s always making new fur-iends.

35. When it comes to facial hair, you’ve got to take it on the chin.

36. I’m not saying my mustache is perfect, but it’s pretty close – just a whisker away.

37. My mustache has a great sense of humor – it’s always bristling with laughter.

38. Growing a mustache is a commitment – you’ve got to stick with it through thick and thin.

39. My mustache is quite the philosopher – it’s always pondering the meaning of life on the upper lip.

40. I tried to teach my mustache a new trick, but it was too set in its ways – talk about being stuck in a hair rut!

41. My mustache is a bit of a daredevil – it’s always living on the edge… of my lip.

42. When it comes to mustache care, you’ve got to stay ahead of the curve… or at least the lip line.

43. My mustache is quite the foodie – it’s always savoring the flavor of every meal.

44. I asked my mustache for advice, but it just gave me some lip.

45. My mustache is a great listener – it’s always lending an ear… or at least sitting right above one.

46. When it comes to mustache grooming, you’ve got to take it one hair at a time.

47. My mustache is quite the traveler – it’s been all around the mouth.

48. I tried to convince my mustache to change its style, but it was too set in its ways – talk about being stubble-born!

49. My mustache is a bit of a rebel – it’s always going against the grain.

50. When it comes to mustache competitions, you’ve got to put your best face forward.

51. My mustache is quite the artist – it’s always drawing attention.

52. I tried to trim my mustache, but it was a close shave.

53. My mustache is a bit of a night owl – it’s always up late, right under my nose.

54. When it comes to mustache care, you’ve got to keep a stiff upper lip.

55. My mustache is quite the comedian – it’s always cracking me up.

56. I tried to style my mustache, but it was a bit of a hairy situation.

57. My mustache is a great timekeeper – it’s always on the upper lip of things.

58. When it comes to mustache grooming, you’ve got to stay sharp.

59. My mustache is quite the athlete – it’s always on the run… from my razor.

60. I tried to explain quantum physics to my mustache, but it was over its hair.

61. My mustache is a bit of a trendsetter – it’s always ahead of the curve.

62. When it comes to mustache care, you’ve got to face facts.

63. My mustache is quite the charmer – it’s always making a good first impression.

64. I tried to teach my mustache to sing, but it was a bit pitchy – I guess it’s just not cut out for it.

Best Mustache Jokes

Best Mustache Jokes

65. Why did the mustache apply for a job at the library? It heard they needed someone good at keeping things under wraps.

66. How does a mustache celebrate its birthday? With a trim-endous party!

67. Why was the mustache always invited to poker games? It knew how to keep a straight face.

68. What’s a mustache’s favorite type of ship? A friend-ship!

69. Why did the mustache become a meteorologist? It was great at predicting hair-icanes!

70. How does a mustache order its coffee? With extra froth on top!

71. Why was the mustache so good at math? It excelled at handle-ing complex problems.

72. What’s a mustache’s favorite dance move? The lip sync!

73. Why did the mustache become a therapist? It was great at helping people get over their hang-ups.

74. How does a mustache stay in shape? With daily lip-ups!

75. Why was the mustache always picked first for sports teams? It was known for its upper-lip talent.

76. What’s a mustache’s favorite board game? Twirler!

77. Why did the mustache become a judge? It was great at combing through the evidence.

78. How does a mustache greet its friends? With a hearty “Hair-o there!”

79. Why was the mustache so good at gardening? It had a natural talent for grooming.

80. What’s a mustache’s favorite type of music? Barbershop quartet!

81. Why did the mustache become a detective? It was always good at sniffing out clues.

82. How does a mustache celebrate Halloween? By dressing up as a beard!

83. Why was the mustache so good at comedy? It always knew how to deliver a punchline with a straight face.

84. What’s a mustache’s favorite type of literature? Bristle fiction!

85. Why did the mustache become a politician? It was great at handling hairy situations.

86. How does a mustache stay cool in summer? By hanging out near the upper slip-n-slide!

87. Why was the mustache so good at chess? It was a master of follicle strategy.

88. What’s a mustache’s favorite type of art? Lip-ressionism!

89. Why did the mustache become a chef? It had a knack for hair-raising flavors!

90. How does a mustache prepare for a date? It gets all spruced up!

91. Why was the mustache so good at public speaking? It knew how to keep a stiff upper lip.

92. What’s a mustache’s favorite type of exercise? Lip-lifting!

93. Why did the mustache become a teacher? It was great at handling hairy questions.

94. How does a mustache celebrate New Year’s? With a midnight bristle!

95. Why was the mustache so good at sales? It could always seal the deal with a winning smile.

96. What’s a mustache’s favorite type of vacation? A cruise on the high seas (high Cs)!

Mustache Jokes for Kids

Mustache Jokes for Kids

97. What do you call a mustache that can fly? A super-hair-o!

98. Why did the mustache go to school? To get a little smarter!

99. How does a mustache eat ice cream? Very carefully!

100. What’s a mustache’s favorite game? Hide and Seek – it’s always hiding right under your nose!

101. Why did the mustache go to the gym? To get in good shape!

102. How does a mustache make friends? It introduces itself with a big smile!

103. What’s a mustache’s favorite subject in school? Hairstory!

104. Why did the mustache go to the beach? To catch some waves… on the upper lip!

105. How does a mustache cross the road? Very bristle-y!

106. What’s a mustache’s favorite TV show? Lip Sync Battle Junior!

107. Why did the mustache go to the dentist? To get a clean bill of health for its neighboring teeth!

108. How does a mustache play hide and seek? It doesn’t – it’s always found above the lip!

109. What’s a mustache’s favorite snack? Cheese whiskers!

110. Why did the mustache go to the library? To brush up on its reading!

111. How does a mustache go down a slide? With a big “Wheeee!” from the top lip!

112. What’s a mustache’s favorite sport? Curl-ing!

113. Why did the mustache go to the art class? To learn how to draw… attention!

114. How does a mustache celebrate its birthday? With a hair-raising party!

115. What’s a mustache’s favorite type of music? Hip hop… on the upper lip!

116. Why did the mustache go to the zoo? To see its cousin, the lion’s mane!

117. How does a mustache eat spaghetti? Very messily!

118. What’s a mustache’s favorite type of hat? A cap-illary!

119. Why did the mustache go to the circus? To see the hair-raising acts!

120. How does a mustache play soccer? By always staying on top of its game!

121. What’s a mustache’s favorite subject in math? Geometry, because it loves shapes!

122. Why did the mustache go to the moon? To see if it could grow in zero gravity!

123. How does a mustache make a sandwich? It starts from the top and works its way down!

124. What’s a mustache’s favorite type of tree? A fir tree!

125. Why did the mustache go to the pool? To practice its butterfly stroke!

126. How does a mustache tell time? It checks the hair on the clock!

127. What’s a mustache’s favorite dessert? Whisk-ers and cream!

128. Why did the mustache go to the movies? To see a hair-raising thriller!

Seasonal Mustache Jokes

Seasonal Mustache Jokes

129. What do you call a mustache in winter? A snow ‘stache!

130. How does a mustache celebrate spring? It blossoms into a full beard!

131. What’s a mustache’s favorite summer activity? Catching waves on the upper lip!

132. Why do mustaches love autumn? They get to dress up for Fall-icle season!

133. What’s a mustache’s favorite Valentine’s Day gift? Lip balm!

134. How does a mustache prepare for St. Patrick’s Day? It dyes itself green!

135. What’s a mustache’s favorite Easter activity? Egg and ‘stache hunts!

136. How does a mustache celebrate Earth Day? By going au naturel!

137. What’s a mustache’s favorite Mother’s Day gift? A new comb!

138. How does a mustache celebrate Father’s Day? With a day at the barber shop!

139. What’s a mustache’s favorite Fourth of July activity? Watching hair-works!

140. How does a mustache beat the summer heat? With a tiny lip fan!

141. What’s a mustache’s favorite Halloween costume? A beard!

142. How does a mustache celebrate Thanksgiving? By being grateful for its lip home!

143. What’s a mustache’s favorite Christmas decoration? Tinsel for its bristles!

144. How does a mustache ring in the New Year? With a midnight trim!

145. What’s a mustache’s favorite Groundhog Day tradition? Seeing its own shadow on the upper lip!

146. How does a mustache celebrate Chinese New Year? By trying out new styles for good luck!

147. What’s a mustache’s favorite April Fool’s prank? Pretending to be a unibrow!

148. How does a mustache enjoy Memorial Day? By standing at attention all day!

149. What’s a mustache’s favorite Labor Day activity? Taking a break from growing!

150. How does a mustache celebrate Cinco de Mayo? With a festive curl at each end!

151. What’s a mustache’s favorite part of back-to-school season? New grooming supplies!

152. How does a mustache enjoy the first day of spring? By sprouting new hairs!

153. What’s a mustache’s favorite autumn treat? Pumpkin spice lip balm!

154. How does a mustache prepare for daylight saving time? By adjusting its curl!

155. What’s a mustache’s favorite part of wedding season? Being part of the groom’s-men!

156. How does a mustache celebrate the summer solstice? By soaking up the longest day of sun!

157. What’s a mustache’s favorite winter sport? Lip skiing!

158. How does a mustache enjoy spring break? By taking a vacation from trimming!

159. What’s a mustache’s favorite autumn activity? Leaf peeping from the upper lip!

160. How does a mustache celebrate the first snowfall? By catching snowflakes!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock-Knock Jokes

161. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fuzzy. Fuzzy who? Fuzzy little mustache you’ve got there!

162. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bristle. Bristle who? Bristle up, your mustache needs grooming!

163. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Stubble. Stubble who? Stubble trouble brewing on your upper lip!

164. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Goatee. Goatee who? Goatee to know you and your fantastic facial hair!

165. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Whisker. Whisker who? Whisker away to the barber for a trim!

166. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mo. Mo who? Mo mustache, mo problems!

167. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lip. Lip who? Lip service to your impressive mustache!

168. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fuzz. Fuzz who? Fuzz the matter with your mustache today?

169. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Handlebar. Handlebar who? Handlebar-ly recognize you with that new ‘stache!

170. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wax. Wax who? Wax on, wax off, that’s how you maintain a mustache!

171. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hair. Hair who? Hair today, gone tomorrow, but not your mustache!

172. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Curl. Curl who? Curl up and dye your mustache a new color!

173. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Scruff. Scruff who? Scruff said about your rugged mustache!

174. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Trim. Trim who? Trim and proper, just like your mustache!

175. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Twirl. Twirl who? Twirl the ends of your mustache for a dapper look!

176. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fringe. Fringe who? Fringe benefits of having a great mustache!

177. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Brush. Brush who? Brush up on your mustache grooming skills!

178. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Style. Style who? Style your mustache with pride!

179. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shave. Shave who? Shave the day with your well-groomed mustache!

180. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Follicle. Follicle who? Follicle-ow me to compliment your mustache!

181. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sprout. Sprout who? Sprout a new style for your mustache!

182. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Comb. Comb who? Comb on over and show off your mustache!

183. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bristly. Bristly who? Bristly impressive mustache you’ve got!

184. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Furry. Furry who? Furry nice mustache you’re sporting!

185. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Groom. Groom who? Groom your mustache to perfection!

186. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Walrus. Walrus who? Walrus-t me, that mustache looks great!

187. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hairy. Hairy who? Hairy up and show me your mustache!

188. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Barber. Barber who? Barber-haps it’s time for a mustache trim?

189. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Facial. Facial who? Facial hair like yours deserves recognition!

190. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache you a question about your grooming routine!

191. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Whiskers. Whiskers who? Whiskers away, your mustache is here to stay!

192. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Furbished. Furbished who? Furbished up your mustache lately?

Mustache One-Liners

Mustache One-Liners

193. My mustache is so thick, it has its own ZIP code.

194. I tried to shave my mustache, but it grew back while I was still holding the razor.

195. My mustache is like a fine wine – it gets better with age.

196. I don’t always grow a mustache, but when I do, it’s epic.

197. My mustache has more personality than most people I know.

198. I’m not saying my mustache is impressive, but birds have tried to nest in it.

199. My mustache is so manly it benchpresses my chin every night.

200. I didn’t choose the mustache life; the mustache life chose me.

201. My mustache is like a superhero – it fights crime while I sleep.

202. I’m not lazy; I’m just growing a mustache.

203. My mustache has its own Instagram account.

204. I’d tell you a joke about my mustache, but I’ll shave it for later.

205. My mustache is so cool, it wears sunglasses.

206. I’m not saying my mustache is magical, but unicorns are jealous of it.

207. My mustache doesn’t make me look older; it makes everyone else look younger.

208. I don’t need a costume for Halloween; I have my mustache.

209. My mustache is so sophisticated, it speaks five languages.

210. I’m not saying my mustache is powerful, but it can change the weather.

211. My mustache isn’t just facial hair, it’s a lifestyle.

212. I don’t need a pet, I have my mustache to keep me company.

213. My mustache is so wise, people come to it for advice.

214. I’m not saying my mustache is intimidating, but even Chuck Norris is impressed.

215. My mustache doesn’t follow fashion trends, it sets them.

216. I don’t need a scarf in winter, I have my mustache.

217. My mustache is so charming, it has its own fan club.

218. I’m not saying my mustache is talented, but it can play the harmonica.

219. My mustache doesn’t just grow, it evolves.

220. I don’t need a gym membership, my mustache works out for me.

221. My mustache is so cultured, it attends opera without me.

222. I’m not saying my mustache is a time traveler, but it’s often ahead of its time.

223. My mustache doesn’t just sit on my lip, it reigns supreme.

224. I don’t need a security system, I have my mustache to protect me.

Mustache Jokes for Adults

Mustache Jokes for Adults

225. My mustache is like my ex – it’s always giving me lip.

226. I tried to join a mustache competition, but they said I didn’t make the cut.

227. My mustache is so mysterious, it’s been questioned by the FBI.

228. I’m not saying my mustache is high-maintenance, but it has its own personal stylist.

229. My mustache is like a fine scotch – bold, complex, and not for everyone.

230. I tried to trim my mustache, but it filed for emancipation.

231. My mustache is so rebellious, it’s currently leading a coup against my beard.

232. I’m not saying my mustache is a player, but it’s got more game than I do.

233. My mustache is like my 401k – it’s an investment in my future.

234. I tried to explain quantum physics to my mustache, but it was beyond its bristle-lect.

235. My mustache is so refined, it only drinks tea with its pinky up.

236. I’m not saying my mustache is a hipster, but it liked craft beer before it was cool.

237. My mustache is like my career – it’s had its ups and downs, but it’s always growing.

238. I tried to write a novel about my mustache, but the plot got too hairy.

239. My mustache is so philosophical, it’s constantly pondering its own existence.

240. I’m not saying my mustache is a foodie, but it has strong opinions on artisanal cheese.

241. My mustache is like my love life – it requires patience, care, and occasional trimming.

242. I tried to teach my mustache yoga, but it wasn’t very flexible.

243. My mustache is so politically correct, it refuses to take sides in the beard vs. clean-shaven debate.

244. I’m not saying my mustache is a wine connoisseur, but it can detect notes of oak and pretentiousness.

245. My mustache is like my retirement plan – I’m hoping it’ll look distinguished by the time I need it.

246. I tried to get my mustache to pay rent, but it claimed squatter’s rights.

247. My mustache is so eco-friendly, it’s considering going solar-powered.

248. I’m not saying my mustache is a social media influencer, but it has more followers than I do.

249. My mustache is like my midlife crisis – unexpected, slightly ridiculous, but oddly satisfying.

250. I tried to get my mustache to contribute to household chores, but it bristled at the suggestion.

251. My mustache is so cultured, it corrects my pronunciation of “croissant.”

252. I’m not saying my mustache is high-society, but it has tea with the Queen every fortnight.

253. My mustache is like my tax returns – complex, occasionally questionable, but ultimately necessary.

254. I tried to get my mustache to go on a diet, but it insisted it was just cultivating mass.

255. My mustache is so tech-savvy, it’s currently developing its own cryptocurrency: Bristlecoin.

256. I’m not saying my mustache is pretentious, but it only listens to vinyl records and obscure podcasts.


Well, there you have it, folks!

We’ve combed through a hair-raising collection of 251+ mustache jokes that’ll tickle your funny bone and even inspire some facial hair growth.

From puns to one-liners, we’ve covered every angle of mustache humor. Remember, a good sense of humor is always in style, like a well-groomed ‘stache.

So, next time you’re looking to break the ice or lighten the mood, whip out one of these whisker-worthy wisecracks.

And hey, if these jokes have inspired you to grow your own lip sweater, go for it! After all, laughter is the best fertilizer for a budding mustache.

Keep grinning and growing!

David Brown

David Brown is a comedy writer with a sharp wit and a love for puns. He has written for various comedy shows and websites, making people laugh with his clever humor. Outside of writing, David enjoys performing stand-up comedy, cooking new recipes, and playing guitar. He studied English Literature at New York University, where he developed his love for wordplay.

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